Shadow of Life

One of my New Year's Resolutions was to try to finish at least two poems and one short story a month. I've pretty much broken all my resolutions already, and this one is liable to be no exception...but I did at least manage to finish this one poem: actually one I kind of started writing around Christmas, and rather on the cynically morose side. Still, at least it means I've completed one third of my resolution for the month!

Surefire Cure for the Monday Blues

Bach *and* chocolate?? Aw, Amazon, you shouldn't have...

(OK, so I *did* have to pay for the privilege. Still...)

Kindred Spaces

(I'll get back to real blog posts eventually, I swear. I spent the early part of this week sick (curled up on the couch watching the first season of Downton Abbey through a semi-feverish haze), and I haven't had a chance to do much writing or picture taking or anything.)

I used to live on the other side of Olympia, WA. There's a coffee house there I really like--Mud Bay Coffee Roasters--with great, locally roasted coffee and an interesting mix of clientele. It wasn't really on my way to work, but not outrageously out of my way, and I spent many happy hours there drinking coffee and scribbling. Now, it's well out of my usual paths, and I've been coffee homeless for some time.

But(!!!) there's now a "Dancing Goats" across from the Transit Center in Lacey, WA! I got lost on the way to a gas station about a week ago (don't ask) and ended up driving by it, thus discovering it, and then stopped in last weekend to scope it out. The parking area is easy to get in and out of, the coffee shop itself is nice and open with big tables that don't wobble (oh, how I despise a wobbly table!), and while the prices are a little steeper than some, the coffee is very good, as are the baked goods.

I've made it by a few mornings to do a little reading and writing before work. This morning, it was a good thing I now know the right light at which to turn--it was so foggy all landmarks were completely obscured, and cars and buildings seemed to float in a strange, hushed unreality. It was a relief to pull safely into the parking lot.

I walked inside, into warm, coffee scented space, where the baristas were arguing whether the fog was more likely to bring zombie pirate ghosts or evil mutant spiders. In another corner, a group of guys were discussing my favorite bike trail. Over the table where I sat, there was a big, beautiful photo of a yellow rose--my favorite flower. Taken all together, it made me want to laugh out loud...because I do believe I've found my new early morning scribbling home.

And that's a wonderful feeling.

Glass Top Tables

OK, so this is an Update Just to Update (UJTU) in disguise...

But if I may say so, glass top coffee tables could have been designed with clumsy fountain pen users in mind. Especially those with an affinity for Noodler's ink, which comes in bottles that are filled to the absolute brim. Especially when the clumsy fountain pen user with an affinity for Noodler's Ink is still attempting to learn a new filling system--say, for example, someone who just got a TWSBI Vac 700 vacuum filling pen just after Christmas.

I like glass top coffee tables...

Three Good Things

Brought to you in part by three good fountain pens...

Continuing my striving toward more positive thinking: this is a concept that I believe exists elsewhere (I think someone even mentioned it in response to a recent post of mine), but I first came to think about it via an on-going thread in the Chatter section of Fountain Pen Network which has long piqued my interest and admiration. The thread is called, quite simply, "Three Good Things From Your Day," and it invites just that: that you stop by and list three good things from your day, each day. The variance in responses is interesting: some people and some days may include Big Important Good Things like births and weddings and graduations and promotions--life dreams fulfilled. Other days, the good things mostly amount to, "Well, I made it through." Sometimes it can be a real struggle to excavate any tiny gems glittering in the muck and mire of a bad day, but I think the very exercise of seeking these reclusive gems helps us to see the positive in life, and just how blessed we really are.

I think I'm going to incorporate this idea into my journals: finish off each day's entry with a list of three good things from the day. I imagine I'll have my fair share of "made it through" items: today, for example, I could write that I remembered my coffee at the last second instead of leaving it on the counter at home. But it will also push me to notice and appreciate all the good little moments in my days. I'm looking forward to this. Maybe that in itself counts as one of my three good things for the day!

For today, on top of my remembering my coffee, I could also include:
- Received an e-mail from my grandmother
- My brother offered to send me the Goat Rodeo Sessions DVD (I'm a big fan of this project, and have the music album, but not the concert DVD!) Very cool.

What are three good things from your day?

Not Quite DIY, Semi-Premium, Semi-Custom Notebooks

You'll have to pardon the cell phone photos...my camera wasn't available.

I believe I've previously mentioned my fondness for HP Premium Choice 32 lb. LaserJet paper (ain't that a mouthful?) for fountain pen use. It is lusciously silky smooth, but less slickery than some other nice papers. Inks spread a teensy bit more than they do on Clairefontaine, but I like the way inks look on this paper, and they dry within a reasonable time frame, too.

It's pricey stuff at about $18 a ream. Ouch! But awhile back, Office Depot had a seriously discounted special: eight dollars a ream. I snatched up two reams immediately, to add to the half a ream I still had on hand. That's a lot of paper. I use it mostly for general writing, letters (heavy though it is), and sometimes in my Circa / Staples Arc notebooks...though at this point I've come to use Circa most for temporary work notes, and for that, I prefer to use scrap paper...seems a shame to waste anything nicer. As for journals, I prefer more permanent binding solutions, but I have no bookbinding skills of my own.

So...I took two notebook-sized stacks of the paper (96 sheets each) to a local copy shop and had them coil bound. They aren't fancy, but I'm still quite pleased with the results.

From the research I did, the total cost for covers and binding is typically between $3.50 and $6.00 depending on where you go, with office supply stores being predictably more affordable than Kinko's. This makes these notebooks a far cry from 50 cent composition books. However, if I compare the total cost to something like Clairefontaine, they aren't too bad, *and* you get to pick your paper (cream or white or whatever, weight, texture) and your ruling, or lack thereof. This first batch of two notebooks is blank, but I may print lines or dot grids next time around. I've used this site in the past, and find it very useful. My normal handwriting is on the bold side, so I prefer something close to the wide ruling in comp books (slightly smaller is nice, but not much): the ruled versions of most Moleskine clones feel very cramped. Incompetech templates let you choose your exact druthers--very cool.

I've just started using the first journal. There are a few quirks: unlike many fancy hardbound journals, the corners aren't rounded off, and of course it doesn't have the same sleek feel in the hand. But oh, that paper is nice, and I like having letter size pages on which to stretch out.

The label on the front cover is just something I slapped on there primarily to give me a visual clue as to which way is up...the plain black cover didn't give any indication. But you could decorate as you saw fit. ;)

Just another option out there for us lovers of ink and paper things!

Given, Received, Resolved - Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas Day! Did you receive any pen/pencil/typewriter related gifts? Interesting books? Music? Fun toys?

In my case, I did a bit to spread the pencil revolution: gave my little nieces some Ticonderoga Noir pencils (they liked the sparkle) and some little notebooks for scribbling in, and I gave their mother a Classroom Friendly pencil sharpener. They homeschool and the girls are now at an age where they are starting to use pencils quite a bit, but all she had to sharpen them with was a poor quality hand-held sharpener or a knife: a sad state of affairs.

I didn't receive any reading or writing related gifts, but I did buy myself the Kindle editions of C.S. Lewis' space trilogy books just before Christmas (they're on sale for $1.99 now!), ordered a bunch more ink samples recently, and also used an Amazon gift card I got for Christmas toward a new fountain pen. Which brings me tidily to my New Year's resolutions. If I put them out there in public, maybe I'll be more likely to stick with them! We'll start off with:

1. As I have done several times before, I resolve not to make any pen/paper/ink purchases, at least not until I've used up a lot more of my current stash. I think thus far April is the longest I've managed to hold out, and that year I quite literally had dreams where I was buying Clairefontaine notebooks...so we'll see how this goes.

2. Practice mandolin/guitar at least fifteen minutes a day. This sounds like a pathetically small goal, but the reality is if I pick up one of the instruments at all, I usually end up playing and practicing a lot longer than fifteen minutes. If I set the bar low, I'm more likely to do the picking up part.

3. Reserve sweets for special occasions (holidays, some Sundays, sometimes when with friends). Because, even though I wouldn't necessarily say I have a serious sweet tooth, I have a tendency to go on x-treme ice cream benders and such, given free rein.

4. Exercise regularly--I've been spending an hour on the elliptical three nights a week, plus a long walk on the trail on the weekends. I'd like to keep that up, or the equivalent once it's no longer quite so dark out. My overall goal is to lose about a pound a month via diet and exercise, which would bring me close to my high school graduation weight by the end of the year...I'd be happy with half that, though.

5. (Because I am a natural slob in the extreme.) Leave the house a little tidier/more organized when I go to bed than it was when I got up. If I somehow actually reach a point where this is no longer possible (doubtful), then just always try to leave the house as tidy as it was when I got up.

6. Do a good deed per day--it can be something as small as a note of thanks to a friend, or saying a quick prayer for someone I see in passing. Really more about adjusting my mindset than a cut-and-dried numerical goal.

Summing everything up: this year I want to work on self-discipline and charity.

How about you?

The Perils of Journaling

(And if I may state right up front: I have very mixed feelings about using "journal" as a verb...)

As mentioned in some previous posts, I've kept a journal or diary off and on since before I could write. Journals have been different things for me at different times. When I was little, they mostly tended to be one or two lines about what I saw as the most interesting or important event of the day, and maybe a countdown to the next big holiday.

As I grew up, my entries expanded somewhat. I wrote more detailed reports of my days, some days almost minute by minute as I carried my notebook with me into the woods or watched younger siblings play. Once in awhile I recorded my dreams of the future or indulged in a bit of complaining about dealing with one particular brother or another, but for the most part, these entries remained primarily factual and in-the-moment.

I think it was after I joined the military and moved overseas that my journals became introspective and personal. I was alone a lot, especially when I first arrived. It took me awhile to find my crowd: I've never been much for the club or the bar scene, and back then I was a bookish, rather sheltered and naive kid, completely overwhelmed by new information and new places and new people. My closest friends were my family, who were now in a time zone six hours away, and this was before any of us had so much as e-mail. Mom and I wrote letters back and forth, and a few friends wrote now and then...but it wasn't exactly the same as being able to talk at any time.

So, partly at Mom's suggestion, I started keeping a journal again, but this time, I told it everything. At first (and this may be a little hokey), I addressed my pages as letters to an imaginary person--it made it easier to bare my soul to a notebook. Eventually I did away with that, but continued to write down anything and everything: not just daily happenings, but all the feelings and fears I would have told Mom or a friend had they been there.

It's a habit I've kept up, off and on, ever since. The proportion of facts to contemplation and complaining has fluctuated somewhat, but it's almost always a part of what I write. Some of the time, I believe it's helpful: when my head is spinning out of control, writing down my thoughts can help me pinpoint exactly what it is that's bothering me, so I can work on it. But sometimes...?

I came across this brief article recently and found it interesting. It's more to do with journaling about broken relationships, but I would think applies to other subjects as well.

I think there's likely some truth in it. I mean...I don't know about you, but I tend to remember things when I write them down. It's one reason I take copious notes in meetings and classes: even if I never look at my notes again, I'm far more likely to remember the material covered if I wrote something down. Writing things down makes them stick in my head. In some senses, it may be that writing down very negative thoughts gives them a credence and weight they wouldn't otherwise have.

I don't think I could completely give up the occasional vent, but perhaps I could make a New Year's resolution to avoid using my journal as a means of turing my psyche into a punching bag. I get very frustrated with my failings at times, but it would be better to come up with positive actions to work toward moving past them (and write about these postive actions so I remember!) rather than dwelling on them ad nauseum. A spiritual director I once had used to stress always stating goals in a positive way: "Practice random acts of kindness," rather than "Avoid being such a cranky sourpuss." Heh..or something like that. In any case, I think there's a lot of wisdom to that approach to life.

What about you? What is keeping a journal to you? Is it a bare statement of facts? A record of special happenings, the activities and accomplishments of your children? Or (if you're willing to admit this out loud) do you ever find yourself wallowing in the darkest bits of your life? If so, do you think it helps or hinders?

Verdict: Blueline A9 - NOT Fountain Pen Friendly

Mini-review: I just finished off a Clairfontaine notebook I'd been using as a journal (in pencil, for those keeping score at home), and started in on a Blueline A9 I've had around awhile. In case anyone was wondering, the Blueline A9 notebook is very far from fountain pen friendly. Much feathering and bleeding.

For the record, that's the *back* of a page...mucho bleed-through! Yikes...

Considering the 30% recycled paper, I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but it's still disappointing: there's so much to like about this notebook otherwise. It's basically composition book sized (my favorite) with a nice hard cover and details I like a lot: stickers for labeling for archival purposes, and spaces on the pages for the date and page number. But...bleh.

I'll stick it out, but can only use one side of the page unless I use pencil or ballpoint.

Thus far the best bet for an inexpensive, fountain pen friendly journal still seems to be my el cheapo Made in Brazil Wal-Mart composition books...those work with almost anything. And they're about a quarter apiece at back to school time. I wish I'd bought a lot more back in the good old days when they didn't have floppy covers, but I guess you can't have everything.

Bleargh

I'm not doing NaNo this year, for a variety of reasons.  But this is the first time in a very, very long time I've not taken part, and I miss it.  I feel...itchy, somehow. It's like...some beautifully apt simile I would come up with if I wasn't completely lacking in words of any kind.  I want to write *something*.  I'd write at least a short story if I could.  But my words are all gone.

I miss most the physical act: scribbling away with a pen or pencil or banging on the typewriter and seeing and feeling the pages fill up.  But I got nothing.  I can't even seem to manage poems lately.  I have one single line rattling around in the hollow void of my noggin, but it doesn't tie to anything at all, AND it's about a sunset, which is terribly hackneyed as poetic subjects go.

I've tried free-writing, just writing anything and everything that pops into my head or writing about writing, and even that petered out.

And now I'm writing about writing about writing.  I make me cry.

At least there's turkey in my near future!  And I don't seem to be having the same issues with music.  So there's that.