Sunday, August 21, 2011

Darkness and Light (whole bunch of type-cast poetry)

I have a tendency to take things much too much to heart. Last Saturday afternoon, someone removed a comment I'd made on one of their Facebook posts. I can't come up with any sort of reason why, and I was too shy to ask. I was so mortified by the experience, trying to imagine what they must have *thought* I meant, that I was practically non-functional for the rest of the weekend.

Things like being removed from a friend's blogroll paralyze me, even while intellectually I know I've talked about a lot of different things over the years, and since I haven't broken things out into strictly compartmentalized blogs and I bounce around a lot (an understatement), some people will drift away. I try to figure out what it was I did that offended, and beat myself up for imagined wrong-doings. I've also found myself stat-watching, fretting over how many page-loads I get or don't get.

And all of this is just silly. If I'm taking these things so seriously, I think maybe I need to take a step back from this whole Internet thing--or at least the blogging portion thereof--for awhile, take a deep breath, get some perspective, do some writing that will only be seen by me instead of jumping up and down trying to get attention, and then half the time not knowing how to take it if I do get some. Oh, and maybe catch up on letters for once--what a concept.

I'll be back, probably sooner than I intend to be, but I'm taking a vacation, at least for a few weeks, maybe a month or so.

So...hey, if I'm gonna go out for a bit, I'll go out with a bang... First off, here are a few poems I actually wrote a number of years ago, but refrained from posting because of their darkness. I'll count these as my final two vignettes for Art of the Letter's July challenge.

In Mortality


And something a bit more lighthearted--a little poem I wrote back in the late 90s, when I was in Germany in the Air Force. I like this one. It makes me smile.

Word Traveler


Anonymous said...

Whew! The first two poems are indeed dark and uncomfortable. The writing is excellent in that it accomplished your goal, but it is not pleasant.

The third poem is plain fun. Anyone who reads for pleasure will understand the thoughts behind it. What made the poem more enjoyable, for me, is it had the feel of a Hobbbit walking song/poem from Lord Of The Rings.

Although I'll miss your posts, I agree that you need to take a step back and concentrate on matters for YOUR satisfaction. Don't let arbitrary actions of others bother you so deeply; most things DO NOT call for a mea culpa. It's not often going to be your fault.

Relax and enjoy your creativity and learning for your own sake. Perhaps share a colorful autumn walk or some crisp fall apples with a friend.

Jeff The Bear

PS: Achilles says hello and thanks you for mentioning the TetraMin Granules. They are a BIG hit.

Elizabeth H. said...

Regarding the last poem...reading over some of my other poems from that period, I think poems from Robert Louis Stevenson's A Child's Garden of Verses were a big influence, though I wasn't consciously aware of it.

Simon (my new betta) likes the New Life Spectrum betta bites I got for him, which is nice--they're convenient, if stinky (they smell like fish and blood...which is probably accurate). He also built himself quite the bubble castle over the weekend. Guess he got bored, being at work all alone.

Cameron said...

It is good that you are in touch with yourself enough to take a blog break when needed. It is indeed important to strike a balance in life.

It is all-too-easy to get caught up in other people's comments, blogrolls etc. because our writing on the internet DOES beg an audience, ultimately.

I know that for myself, having just revived my blog after 18 months, I need to *NOT* be concerned that none of the typosphere blog folks out there have added me to their blogrolls yet.

Have a good break and I look forward to hearing your guitar pieces when you get back!

Elizabeth H. said...

The typosphere is growing at such a rapid rate that I think I may just remove that section of my blogroll altogether and just put up a link to Lately I tend to go there anyway rather than relying on my own out-of-date list, and it would help avoid any hurt feelings and missed opportunities to "meet" the newer folks.

The other blog categories don't really have a central repository, and I kind of use those just for my own reference, to keep an eye on what's going on out there.

Oh, and yes, this break should hopefully give me more time to practice guitar and mandolin! And also maybe get a bit more organized, so when I come back I'm not just slapping posts up every which way.

notagain said...

I've struggled with that kind of comment-thread anxiety too, even though I know better, so I understand your decision to unplug. I hope we'll still hear from you one way or another.

Duffy Moon said...

I completely ID with what you're saying, E.
I get exactly the same way.
I don't even try to keep up anymore - there's just so much intertube stuff to do, and so little time.
We'll of course welcome you back when you've rested and start jonesin'.

Ted said...

Cameron, shame on ya! I added your blog to my blogroll the same day I commented on your second revival post! :D

And, LFP, I'd offer to Protestant ya up to help with that Catholic guilt you've got, but I learned long ago that we are who we are and the best we can do is learn to realize that nobody is half as hard on us as we are on ourselves. (:

But yeah, I know what you mean about the blogroll thing. I was kinda crushed when Magic Margin removed me from his, until I thought about it a bit and realized a teacher probably can't afford to be sending students to blogs that promote gun ownership and drinking, and prolly a half dozen other views I spout without warning on my web-rag. can't hold a grudge for that kind of responsible thinking :D

Justin said...

I like the poems. Enjoy your break; it does some good sometimes.

couragetocreatewriteandlove said...

i hope this makes up
i follow your blog and sometimes i pinterest your typewriter poems-letters
hoping you come back all rejuvenated real soon
don't worry too much
real worl is real world anywhere
online and offline
stay creative and keep playing with your typewriter and your lovely poems

Rob Bowker said...

Hi, I'm not a big commenter (commentator?) on your blog but frequently enjoy it. You know, this public stuff is for the thick skinned amongst us and the nuances of a proper knee-to-knee are utterly lost, online. Netiquette isn't a fine art just yet - that's sort of why we are into what we are into - analogue comms of one type and another.

A while back, I posted about the legendary "Cheers" bar of TV fame. It seemed like useful shorthand to the way I see the 'typosphere'. These new connections make for a new social state - relationships somewhere between ambivalent and really-quite-close.

On the blogroll theme - I get it. Being relatively new to personal blogging, I felt a bit sorry for putting up such a loooong page with the endless roll so tended to limit it to folks with a lot to say... I don't really notice who's I'm on and who's I'm not - I'm just humbly thrilled when anyone drops by. I don't think there's a black heart out there - just wise, community-minded people stumbling every now and then.

Enjoy the break!